Nazar

Chapter one: Watch Me.

As long as I can remember, my parents made it their mission to support me in anything I did, and reinforce the notion that I can do anything I set my mind to. At first I didn't think too much of it, and brushed it off as a "duh" moment. Until later, when I saw my parents life completely change right before my eyes. They were finally given the success they worked so hard for. Although I’ve come to realize not everyone wants to see you succeed, you must know how capable you are of reaching even the furthest stars.

Nazar

“I want you to feel safe and protected.”

Nazar also known as the "The Evil Eye" is more than 5,000 years old and is found in many cultures and religions. The belief that the eye protects its owner from jealousy and the "ill will" of others by peering back at them from the spirit realm.

Self Doubt

Have you ever really heard of a hispanic Psychiatrist? There’s a few, but the reason there are not many can be attributed to the fact that most hispanics don't believe in commonly known mental disorders, such as anxiety or depression. Let alone disorders like schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. Hispanics tend to stereotype all mental disorders as being "crazy."

I have always struggled with anxiety and depression, but could never go to my family for comfort or support. I could never really feel understood. Which is where the catalyst of my goal came about. I wanted to be a psychiatrist. I want to help those who could never feel understood and give them the help they deserve.

Little did I know, having a goal like this involves completing undergraduate studies, getting into medical school, and receiving your M.D.. An educational journey that would constantly throw hurdles onto my path. One of those being self doubt as well as people not believing in me or in my goal.

I can think of countless negative comments made about the profession I've chosen to pursue. Comments ranging from "Are you sure you can be that with your condition of anxiety” to "Why do you want to work with crazy people?".

Watch Me

“It will all make sense one day.”

I believe that everything happens for a reason. I've had so many amazing opportunities put into my life and countless blessings that are all going to make sense one day. The negative comments only inspire and light a fire in me to tell people, "watch me". Watch me accomplish everything I’ve ever set my mind to.

The McNair program may get overwhelming at times, but from a different perspective I know what I am capable of and at the end of the day, it is only helping my future.

The Progress So Far

At first, I had no idea what to center my research on. I knew I wanted to challenge myself and was pushed in the direction of biology and chemistry, fields that intersect with a psychology research plan. I reached out to many professors, but, unfortunately only got two responses. One being Dr. Carter Bradly, who centered his focus on molecular biology. He conducts research using zebrafish to study the impact of environmental factors associated with mental health and neurodevelopment disorders in early brain development.

During our meeting, we discussed the possibility of Dr. Bradly taking on the commitment of being my mentor. He encouraged me to come to his lab time and meet people on his team. He emphasized that he is open to collaborating and focusing on the psychology aspect rather than the autistic perspective.

At the same time, I have been looking more into studying for the MCAT. I started listening to podcasts to get a better understanding of when to take it, and what I should be doing and ways to better prepare me for the biggest obstacle.